Written by Whitney Simpson
I just thought I would share a testimony with you all. I feel like I God has really tugged at my heart over the last couple of days. It all began yesterday at work. I was on my lunch break and decided to do a little surfing over the internet. Keep in mind, my surfing is always clean and work tolerable. I decided to get on Google Earth. Google Earth is a cool little program that allows you to have a 3-D view of the world and zoom in to see satellite pictures. You can even see your home! Now I really couldn't explain to you what I was doing on google earth, and why I was led there at the time, but the strange thing about the whole situation was that I was automatically looking for the Golden Gate Bridge. When you zoom in to a location on Google Earth, particularly a landmark as popular as the Golden Gate Bridge, the program has another cool feature that allows you to click on random pictures that are placed around the area. Awed at the beauty of such a grand bridge, I began clicking randomly at the pictures. There were some really cool pics on there! Some were of the bridge at night, while others were of the clouds sifting heavily through the bridge. I immediately put it on my list of places to visit at some point in my life. About the 3rd or 4th picture in, I noticed that one picture in particular caught my eye. The picture was taken on the bridge, and on the right side of the picture there was a sign posted above a phone. The sign read, "Crisis Counseling. There is hope. Make the Call. The consequences of jumping from this bridge are fatal and tragic." I thought to myself for a moment, "Are you serious? People actually jump off this bridge?" I mean I knew that at some point in time someone would have taken their own life on that bridge, but to have a sign posted? That meant that it must occur often. Well, by then I was hungry for more. I immediately hopped off Google Earth, hopped on Wikipedia and began my research there. I scrolled down through the article until I reached the morbid heading, "Suicides." Again, I thought to myself, “why am I subjecting myself to this? This will only add stress to my life, and I shouldn’t add any unneeded stress here…” I couldn’t stop though! I had to know more! It said that the Golden Gate Bridge is a frequent site for suicides. So frequent in fact that someone jumps about every 2 weeks! WOW! That is insane! I read that some government officials are campaigning for a barrier to go up along the walkway that would keep people from jumping. They can’t afford it though. After reading the facts, I continued down the page and read where a man by the name of Eric Steel filmed a documentary about people who jump from the bridge. The documentary is titled, The Bridge. Now, I necessarily don’t agree with Mr. Steel’s choice to film it, but again felt intrigued to look into it further. I wondered if he had actually filmed people jumping from the bridge. I moved my search to Youtube to see if there was a trailer of some sort about the movie. I know, I know, your probably wondering at this moment why on earth would I be at work on my lunch break trying to find video of people jumping off a bridge to their death! I didn’t know why I was either. My heart was racing, and I had this feeling that kind of captivated me. I couldn’t stop though. I had to know! I typed the words, the bridge into the search box. Results of the movie popped up immediately. I scrolled through the titles and one caught my eye. It was titled, “The Bridge- Gene”. The picture next to the title showed a man standing next to the bridge. I held my breath and clicked the picture. The movie that popped up changed my life forever. It lasted only 47 seconds. The tall thin man was dressed in black from head to toe. His long black hair blew fiercely in the wind. He leaned against the bridge with his arms crossed and head down, every now and then looking up and around. I wondered what he was thinking. He looked so deep in thought. He paced the walkway of the bridge only taking 5 or 6 steps at a time then turning around to walk the other way as if he were changing his mind about something.
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This lasted a little while (later I found out it was for approximately 90 minutes and why no one stopped him is still a mystery to me). He again stopped and leaned over the ledge peering down into the water 220 feet below. In almost an instant, Gene turned around, and hoisted himself upon the ledge. He sat there for about 5 seconds. He gripped the metal bars of the bridge and pulled himself up to a standing position, facing the traffic on the bridge. Instantaneously, Gene outstretched his arms letting go of the bars. My heart wept as I watched him pummel to the waters below. I knew that Gene’s body would cease to function the moment he hit the water, but my heart wept for him because his life was over way before he jumped. My lunch break was over. I finished my work for the day, but Gene never left my mind. I wanted to know what could drive someone so deep into the depths of despair that they couldn’t even live for one more day. I wanted to know what this man’s family and friends thought about him. What kind of person he was. I was intrigued. So, after dinner, and tucking the kids into bed last night, I did a little more research on Gene. I eventually stumbled across Gene’s online blog. It was written over a span of about 1 year (between 2003 and 2004. His last entry being about 2 months before his death). It chronicled his life in I’d say weekly entries. To clarify in blatant terms Gene was depressed because his mom died of cancer in 2001, he was abandoned by his father, had no family to fall back on, lost his job, was on unemployment, possibly had drug and alcohol problems, had internet addictions, couldn't find a new job, had been dumped by several women. He was very lonely, had many overdue bills, was basically cold and starving, was almost homeless, sold every possession he owned, suffered from back and stomach pain but had no insurance, was extremely depressed, and even had to give away his dying pet ferret. Now keep in mind that Gene was 34 years old at the time of his death. I wondered what his views were concerning spirituality. It didn’t take long for me to find it out. I mean, he never mentioned in his entries that he prayed to God for help. In fact, Gene stated in one entry a few days before Christmas that, “I’m not a Christian, not religious in anyway, but most people are with their families during this time of year. That’s something I’d like to have right now.” I think Gene was so desperate for love that he was very receptive to receiving Christ but didn’t want to do it on his own. I wept for Gene this time. I even went outside at 10 o’clock last night, sat on my porch and asked God why Gene didn’t have a chance. I told God that I didn’t think it was fair for someone to search for love and acceptance for so long and to be down and so depressed about it that they would want to seek peace through dying by their own hand. I told God that I wished I was there at the time that Gene committed suicide so that I may have stopped him, gave him the love that he needed, and showed him the light to true happiness; through Christ. God spoke back to me. God said to me there are people right now that live by me, that are seeking him. That I should keep my eyes and heart open. I don’t know if this means that I will actually encounter someone that may be suicidal, or if just the thought and actions I put into my words now may affect someone’s decision in the future, but something will happen. I will have to really pay attention as I know that there are a few people that I know that are emotionally down and I’m a bit nervous about it but will accept God’s will for me. God is telling me to spread his word. Let everyone know that his love is unending. That solace is found through him. That solutions can be found. I know now why I looked up the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge Yesterday. I know why I’m not disturbed about the whole ordeal. I know now why….
Whit
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